Here are some of the embarrassing mistakes that I have made whilst staying in Japan.

1. Top of the list is getting very drunk and hitting on (trying to charm) women, any women within range! This is easily done when you are chatting with friendly women that love to keep filling your Sake (Japanese Rice Wine) glass. I heard what embarrassing things I did and to whom the next day from friends.

2. Starting a conversation with somebody in Japanese and pretending I am following what they are saying by nodding and umming. I have done this a couple of times. It’s cool until you have to make a quick dash to escape.

3. Hugging and kissing a woman in public. This is a no no in Japan, even holding hands is extreme. As a natural touchy feely person, it took me a long time to realize how bad it is to touch people in Japan except in private. I never shook hands with so many girls before. I guess, shaking hands is like a kiss where bowing is the equivalent of the Western hand shake?

An intimate kiss is when the girl uses both hands to shake your’s.

One experiment I want to try next time is to anticipate the hand shake and keep my hands by my side and lean forward with a cheeky smile ignoring their out-stretched arm. Will they crack?

4. Lifting my foot off the brake in an automatic car that was in drive (I am used to driving a manual transmission car) then hitting the car in front at low speed. I wormed out of this situation by pretending to not understand what had happened or having any ability to speak Japanese.

5. Not using a towel in the spa bath. Women staff walk around these places so nearly bumping into one when you are naked and with a foreigner sized tool swinging between your legs and having to bend over to avoid it whacking into the attendant may be embarrassing for some.

6. Arriving at Narita airport with no money and no idea where I was staying. The plan was to meet my Japanese partner who had all the details and the yen on the other side after the immigration check.

7. Leaving Japan without a re-entry permit and having to beg for one at the airport where they don’t normally issue them.

8. Buying the wrong ticket for a train, sitting in a reserved seat, not having enough money to pay the correct fare and getting kicked off the train in the middle of nowhere. Luckily I could use my credit card to buy another ticket at the train station. Amazing since most other places seemed to refuse my credit card. Maybe it worked because it was involving a manual transaction process rather than some electronic transaction machine?

9. Pressing a button on a toilet that started a jet of water to wash my rear but not discovering how to stop it. I had to leave it spraying onto the floor after some tricky move to get out of the cubicle without getting soaked.

10. Sitting in a clinic waiting room with a bottle of my fresh warm urine that I should have placed discretely in a hole in the wall in the men’s toilet area. At least I had plenty of space around me on the bench seat.

There are lots of small things too but it’s all a learning experience. How about you? Maybe share your most embarrassing moments in a foreign land…